Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
