I think i peed on brittanys purse
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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