My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
