What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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