I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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