Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize