That's intense
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
babies were throwing up all over the place
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
