the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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