To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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