Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i now understand why vodka
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
