i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just had sex on a roof
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
