I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize