If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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