covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
