doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
