was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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