They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
