I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
