I can tuck mytits in my pants
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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