I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
