I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
