white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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