He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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