I need help removing her.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
