Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
