with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
