Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
