Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
