think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
