why didn't you poke me back
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
