If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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