We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
