Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
