so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
