the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
