FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize