So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize