Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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