when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i've created a new STD.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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