It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
