i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
