I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
