I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
