I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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