We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
