Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
