Porn is love you can see.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
