If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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