i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
