you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
