Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
