Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
