I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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