Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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