Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think i have two assholes
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Randomize
