just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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