So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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