he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
