I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
