he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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