her facebook's as public as her vagina
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
