In the future we'll all be gay
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
