Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
