hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
